Got dumped? Try this cleansing ritual

Sometimes you never see it coming. Or you may have chosen to ignore the obvious signs. Whatever her final words before the exit, the sting is never easy to bear. ON the element X – the alpha male zone, we give you the new age cleansing ritual to get that girl out of your system.

Whether it be on the school/college dating scene or when you’re supposedly ‘old enough’ to take the world at face value, it is never fun getting dumped. But it’s no use crying over spilt milk, to cite a cliché, and the time ahead is one for payback!

Warming up

The first step: Get it clear, straight from her mouth. Is it really over? If she says so, then she doesn’t deserve another chance, does she? So it’s time to get her out of your system.

Delete her phone number from your mobile’s phonebook. Trash all SMS and love notes. Scour through the gifts she gave you. Throw away everything useless. But if something looks useful, why not keep it?

Can you find that one photograph of hers in which she thought she looked awful, or even fat? The one in which you lied to her that she looked gorgeous as usual? Pull it out from your collection and get it printed poster-size. And then, use it as a dart-board!

The cleansing ritual

Take up a pen and paper. Hang on; don’t go for the heartrending poetry yet (Although that does work in impressing other girls at times). List out her negative points – each and everyone of them. Chances are, you’ll soon be reading that list over and over again, asking yourself, “Why did I ever fall in love with that girl?”. Don’t stop at that. Burn the list, along with other memorabilia. Watch the pieces of paper dance in the flames. At the risk of causing a fire hazard, I must give you this. If you want the cleansing to be deep, douse the list with her favourite brand of perfume before burning!

And if you are one for the bizarre theatrics, save the ash and use it a la vermillion to mark your forehead. It lends you an ethnic charm, which is trendy these days. It is a gamble, I admit. A few girls may think it is stupid, but for the dark side enthusiast, it could make you look dashing and that extra bit sexy.

The aftermath

So once the ritual is done, it is time to see what effect it has on you now. Pick up a dart, throw it on your new dartboard/ex-girlfriend and get out there, with a couple of friends – the kind who won’t be stupid enough to ask you about her. Hit a few of your hangouts and make it clear that you are single and looking out.

Steer clear of anyone who reminds you of your ex. Go for a different kind of girl this time round. If your girlfriend had curly hair, look for girls with straight hair. If she had a nose-ring, look for one without. I could go on, but I think you get the picture.

To sign off, let me give you a line I picked up at a time when I could have used this ritual:

“Never frown, even when you are sad. You never know who is falling in love with your smile”

Source: India Syndicate